Perhaps the kindest thing you can do for a pet that is so sick or severely injured that he will never recover normal health is to have your veterinarian induce his death quietly and humanely. This is called euthanasia. Your decision to have your pet euthanatized is a serious one and never easy to make.

"How Will I Know When?"

If your pet can no longer participate with you and your family in the things he once enjoyed, if she cannot respond to you in the usual ways, if there is more pain than pleasure in his life, or if she is terminally ill or critically injured, it may be time to consider euthanasia. Your veterinarian is a person who understands your emotional attachment to your pet and can evaluate your pet's condition, estimate chances for recovery, and discuss disabilities or long term problems. He can explain medical options and their possible outcome, but he cannot make the decision for you. You should consider what is best for the pet, but also what is best for you and your family. Quality of life is important for pets and people alike. Family members should be allowed to express their feelings and thoughts. Children have a special relationship with their pets and excluding or protecting them from the decision-making process may only complicate their grieving period. It is important to be straightforward and truthful, and keep your answers simple.

"How Can I Say Goodbye?"

For those of us who truly share our life with a pet, the time will come when we must face the loss of this truly amazing companion. The act of saying goodbye is the first and important step in managing the natural and healthy feelings of grief, sorrow and the sense of loss. Many of us have shared our lives with several pets, and occasionally we are blessed with an animal soul mate. When this occurs we may find ourselves experiencing intense grief, and may find it worrisome to have such an overwhelming response to losing "just an animal." You need to realize that this pet managed to find a very special, unique place in your heart and in your life. Part of the sadness is knowing that no other pet will ever fill that special place in quite the same way. If you decide that euthanasia is the most merciful, practical and humane action, take the time to say goodbye. A last evening at home with the pet, or a final visit to a hospitalized pet may be appropriate. However, this decision is a personal one and not everyone will have this desire; many people will want to remember the pet when it was healthy.

"How Can I Face the Loss?"

Understanding the grieving process will better prepare you to manage your loss. There are many symptoms of grief, but not everyone experiences all of them. Your first reaction may be denial that the pet is sick or injured severely. Anger may follow denial. This anger may be directed toward people you normally love or respect. You may blame yourself or others for not recognizing a potential illness or for their carelessness in allowing the pet to get injured. After denial and anger or guilt, you may feel grief and depression. This is the period during which you feel the greatest sense of loss. Grief includes a wide range of reactions that are considered normal, such as numbness, irritability, crying spells, hallucinations and hopelessness. Once you and your family come to terms with your feelings, you can begin to resolve and accept the pet's death. Often well-meaning friends and family fail to realize how important the pet was to you, or may not acknowledge the reality of your grief. Being honest with yourself and others about how you feel is best. If despair mounts, talk to someone who will listen. Profound sadness and grief may last a few weeks or, without proper care and attention, many years. People do recover from painful losses. The people who adjust most easily are those who allow themselves to experience their feelings of loss, and take one day at a time. In every case, grief does not magically go away. Dealing with your loss and the passage of time are the two best healers.

"I Cannot Forget."

Sometimes the relationship with a pet is so strong that the resulting grief and sorrow may interfere with a person's life. If you or a family member has great difficulty in accepting your pet's death and cannot resolve the feelings of loss, you may want to discuss your feelings with a person who is trained to understand the grieving process. Contact the Pet Loss Support Group at (530)752-3602 for information on local meetings.

Suggested Reading Material:

1. Pet Loss : A Thoughtful Guide for Adults and Children by H. A. Nieburg Fischer
2. Death : The Final Stage of Growth by E. Kubler-Ross
3. Coping With the Loss of a Pet by Christina Lemieux & Wallace Clark
4. Maya's First Rose by Martin Scot Kosins

Especially for Children:

1. The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst
2. The Dead Bird by Margaret Wise Brown

Visit the following site for more information, mediated chat rooms and links:
The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement